I recently celebrated my 1 Year Momaversary. The moment felt like it arrived quicker than I expected. However, I do know time is constant. Its pace doesn’t change, but the amount of work we place in each stride of time is variable. Yes, the footsteps, the left, the right, the tick, and the tock will always be a steady beat. But the amount of moves I make to the beat is always on me.
So, I decided to make as many moves as possible.
And it wasn’t an easy process. Many moments I found it very difficult to decipher the actions I needed to complete or even their timeline. After giving birth to my baby girl, creating and ordering the actions to once again become Faith felt impossible. And by Faith, I mean, the writer, educator, entrepreneur, and etc.
Leave it to societal standards, miscommunication, hormonal imbalances, scarred tissue, trauma, and plain ol’ exhaustion to have you feeling like you have to become someone you never stopped being. It is like wanting to restore an older version of you when in actuality, you have a new reality, and you will never be that person again. Updates to the current version of me were in order. My priorities changed. My thinking was changing from the both of us to simply, us. A family. My days weren’t the same. So much newness comes with this territory. While adjusting to the newness, I thought I had misplaced my magic while overlooking the magic I was making all along.
I’ve been gifted with magic from Mother Nature. Nurturing doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but I thoroughly find personal satisfaction in caring for my little one. From nursing to making vegan baby food, to reading and potty training, she has been one of the biggest blessings in my entire life. Also, through careful observations, I've seen some glimpses of her magic too.
Seeing the magic around me, I accepted that my choice was trading business and writing time for family time. And I made a valiant effort to not think about what I could be doing instead. I stopped beating myself up for being tired. Hell, I was, and still am, lol. I did my best and cherished my man, baby, momma, and village. In my thankfulness, I found my willpower. It’s all connected. I needed my actions to reflect my goals and dreams. So, I changed my thoughts. I stopped succumbing to my emotions. I let some shit go and chose my battles wisely.
Next thing you know, the voices of my TRIGGER and RECOIL characters were gradually resurfacing. Their conversations were even deeper than before. I began to jot them down. But there was a new voice mingling in with the others. It was a new voice and stood out more than the rest of them. My baby’s presence enhanced the nurturer in me. This nurturer had something the world needed to hear. I thought it best that I use this gift to our advantage.
Those same actions and timelines that were so confusing appeared clearly. I had a new project, one that was relevant to our new reality. With Imani by my side, we began using our magic to write a new story. It's filled with thoughts of love, positivity, peace, and thankfulness, all great thoughts to began your day with. It is titled Great Rising!
Feel free to donate! Cashtag: $InfiniteFaithPub
I have been making moves to bring this to life in my spare moments. In the spring I hope we will be holding this book in our hands. This book is truly a gift to my family. I'm manifesting through this book. It is already successful, I can feel it in my heart. And this is where it counts the most.
Faith Underwood
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January 2023
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